Reflections on My Tenure at St. Paul's

This article was published in the St. Paul’s (Kewanee) Newsletter for May. My retirement from the parish is set for June 9th.

Twenty-nine ago this July I began to serve as your pastor here at St. Paul’s. Little did anyone know that it was the beginning of a remarkable three decades. So many things have changed since then! There was in the first five years after I arrived a great strife, whose history is in the little sesquicentennial booklet that I prepared for a congregational anniversary in 2012. A confessional and liturgical awakening that had been happening in various places throughout the Missouri Synod was now at the doorstep of St. Paul’s. The rebirth of a strong confessional commitment was not something I or anyone had planned or expected, and when it happened it wasn’t easy for anyone to endure. Explained simply, some welcomed it, others did not. But after those years of strife, when the smoke began to settle, in the years following the congregation emerged as a smaller parish, but one firmly committed to each other, and to the liturgical and Sacramental marks of a strong Lutheran confession and faith. And there was peace. One of the fascinating things one can read in that sesquicentennial booklet is the history of the congregation going back to its birth in the mid nineteenth century, and in particular another very painful period that led to a congregational split in the early part of the twentieth century. The parallels are striking. In particular there grew up in the post-controversy peace that ensued after both periods a renewed resolve and energy rooted in a solidly Lutheran confession and identity. What grew up in both cases, nearly a hundred years apart, was a small but vibrant congregation whose identity was bound up in our confession of Jesus Christ and Him crucified for us, and in the blessed Sacraments that He gave us.

Conspicuously absent was any rancor or division. There were no serious debates about anything. And that has been the joyful condition of this congregation in all the years following up to the present date.

 As a result, we were able by the grace of God to embark on a mammoth remodeling campaign in 2016. The church building was in serious disrepair. Plaster was cracking and falling down in the nave. During one Sunday service a piece of plaster fell on an empty pew (thank heaven it was an empty one!). The walls were dirty, and parts of the chancel floor were sinking. So the dedicated members put their heads together and determined they had to act, and the project was begun.

 We didn’t have a contractor, but what we did have were people who knew what was needed, and with a lot of prayer and dedication we simply began to do it ourselves. We hired a man to help with the plaster and painting, who was willing to work with us, but we put up the scaffolding ourselves, we planned the new color scheme ourselves, we did what painting we could ourselves, we got others to volunteer to help us rebuild the chancel floor, and bit by bit made progress. We came to worship for weeks on end with scaffolding in the church, until it became time to move the pews to the gym and set up a temporary worship space there. The entire project took three years, and we had a joyous rededication service in 2019. We did it! And yet it was clear to us that the grace of God was with us all the way. In the five years that followed, many of us have expressed a sense of amazement that the project was accomplished in such a small congregation. In the end, it isn’t pride that descended upon us, but humility. For who can deny that God was with us?

 During the same years something else was happening. The little liturgical journal Gottesdienst, which I had been asked to edit just prior to moving here in 1995, was also growing. A good number of faithful confessional pastors got involved. The purpose of  the journal, which soon blossomed into a web site with an active blog and podcast, and a host of liturgical conferences here and elsewhere, was the advancement and defense of the Lutheran liturgy and its proper use. Right worship was at the heart of it all: an awareness that since Christ Himself is the active one in our worship, we need to be conducting our worship practice accordingly. The bond between Lutheran confessional identity and Lutheran liturgical practice was highlighted by the men of Gottesdienst, and that bond was evident and abundantly clear in the liturgical worship of St. Paul’s. And this, too, has not been an occasion for pride, but thankfulness.

 In short, what grew and flourished at St. Paul’s was parallel to what grew and flourished in Gottesdienst, and all of this has been because the grace of God descended on us, and God has answered our prayers in spades.

 And now we have come to the end of one chapter of our history and look toward the beginning of another, because as you know, the time has come for me to retire. In truth, I never envisioned the coming of the day; I never thought there was some retirement age I should adhere to just because that’s the way our society happens to be set up. That’s not why I decided it was time. Rather, it was because age has been creeping up on me. A (thankfully) slow progression of Parkinson’s Disease and other medical issues have teamed up to slow me down to the point where I began to realize that there are after all some legitimate reasons to retire.

 And I know that this has been an occasion for sorrow, in many ways. We have been together—you parishioners and I—for a long time. We have felt the pains together and we have enjoyed the benefits together. So now we must endure these changes as well.

 But let us not lose hope. For just as clearly as the Lord has blessed us in our trials and in our successes, so clear ought it to be that it is He, and not we ourselves, whose grace alone is our reliance. He has helped us hitherto; shall He not also help us now?

 So, dearly beloved flock of His, pray to the Lord of harvest, that He will continue to bless; that He will send a faithful pastor to take the baton I pass to him. Have we not been amazed to behold what He has done among us? Let not your hearts be troubled, then, but eager. Let them not be weighed down, but expectant.

 Moses once said, Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will shew to you today; but the Lord replied, Wherefore criest thou unto me? speak unto the children of Israel, that they go forward: but lift thou up thy rod, and stretch out thine hand over the sea, and divide it: and the children of Israel shall go on dry ground through the midst of the sea.

 As heirs of the children of Israel, let us also go forward then, confident that it is the Lord alone by whose blessing we must live.