"I Remember Hymnals..."
In a discussion about Screens vs. Hymnals, a man from a certain age demographic articulated his preference for screens, commenting:
“I remember hymnals - there were never enough, or people took them to other pews. Then there was the lighting problem to read the hymnals. A hymn started and suddenly you were in a rush to find the right page. It’s great when you can come to a worship service and have your mind focused on the service only. I still remember the days trying to find the right pew with enough hymnals for the family to share.”
Oh the humanity! Oh those barbaric days of technological primitivism: the Dark Ages when members of the LCMS lived by the law of club and fang, of leaf and spine, still senselessly enduring the nightmare of hard covers and ink upon paper (Paper? Heaven forfend!)? Scarcely one in a hundred young people could even imagine the interminable horror of it all. And we, the survivors who lived through the sheer unimaginable hell of those days: a cold and loveless epoch of literal torture in our churches, have stoically purged it from our post-traumatic minds.
It made me think of a similar situation, and how a fellow traveler might respond in kind:
“I remember toilets. Sometimes you couldn’t find one. You had to pull your pants down. They were cold. Sometimes there was no toilet paper. And the float valve would get stuck. A lot of wasted water too.
Now I just wear Depends.”