oh, darn...

by Larry Beane

Look what I'm going to have to miss. I'll be going here instead.

So, instead of going to Minneapolis for a hip and exciting "progressive" conference put on by 21 women clerics with such exciting topics as (all presented in über-hip lower case letters - even when the names "God" and "Jesus" are used...):

• treating women jesus-style
• the boundary-breaking god of hope and promise
• jesus' body is hot again
• praying in color - doodling redefined
• missional, emergent, monastic, methodist, newday
• coming out of all closets
• HUMBITIOUS [an exception to the all lowercase rule...] - women & ambition, power, humility
• doubt is the new faith

and...

• authority, authenticity, and a-holes.

... I will be forced to miss out, instead spending time with all-male "blackshirt" Lutheran clergy in Downtown Metropolitan Kewanee for bratwurst, beer, and a discussion of Lutheran liturgy!

Can you just imagine?

The topics for discussion will have nothing to do with women, the hotness of jesus' [sic] body, coming out of the closet, nor anything to do with orificia (regardless of what some people say about "The Gottesdienst Crowd!(tm))." And I do believe the plan will be to make full use of the uppercase letters - especially when it comes to the initial letter of the divine names (how "establishment" and "reactionary" can you get?). The theme is: "Not a Matter of Indifferent Things" and the questions under discussion are:

• So what's negotiable and what isn't, in worship?
• Nothing is an adiaphoron in a state of confession: meaning what, exactly?
• Is Gottesdienst adiaphora? Of course not, but why not?

So, the choice is yours, dear readers. I'm afraid I'm locked in. Oh the indignity! ;-)