Note: Ms. Linda Boomerton is upset at the direction synod is going, and has asked to submit a guest editorial at Gottesblog. ~ Ed.

I’ve been a Luthern all my life. And in my seven plus decades as a member of the Missouri Synod Luthern Church, I have never seen so much bad youth ministry. I told my husband that he needs to do something, because I have had it up to here. And these Goddess Deans (whatever it’s called) guys are the worst! I told my husband that he needs to write a letter to President Harris about that too.

But what has really chapped my patootie is this article in the Reporter. It used to be such a nice news paper when President Kreaseneck was running things. Now everything just looks too Catholic. This front page article is everything that’s wrong with the Missouri Synod Luthern Church today. I told my husband that he needs to get on the phone with Pastor and give him a piece of my mind. But it looks like I’m just going to have to do it myself. I made an appointment already (and we are also going to have a talk about chanting). I’m also not happy about the new hymnal. The green one was so much better.

But this article on the front page of the Reporter shows how the synod doesn’t have a heart for the lost and doesn’t know the first thing about youth ministry. Where are the guitars? Where are the drums? Look at those poor kids in the picture. They’re forcing that traumatized boy to play the pipe organ. The pipe organ, for pity’s sake! The youth don’t want anything to do with that old stuff. And they made all those kids crowd around for a picture, acting like they are interested in that kind of church music. My word! They should be singing Pass It On around a campfire.

The article says: “Institute Covers Entire Psalter in Four Days.” I don’t know what this “psalter” is, but it sounds too Catholic. It says that they made everyone sing all 150 Psalms! Those poor kids! It says they even made them sing Psalm 119 - the whole thing. It’s like a thousand verses. That must have been so boring. It says that they sang, “Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path,” but I bet it wasn’t the Amy Grant version!

This poor girl was quoted that “Singing the whole thing all together… was so fun.” Why are they pressuring this young, empowered woman to say such things? I bet those mansplainers made her feel unsafe. My husband just rolled his eyes at me, but I’m going to give him a piece of my mind too.

There’s a picture on the cover showing a crucifix. President Kreaseneck is right that this is too Catholic and is frightening away the youth. It doesn’t make me feel good to see My Jesus suffering on the cross. I told Pastor we need to go back to the Luthern empty cross at our church. I’m going to give him a piece of my mind about it. And next to the crucifix is this professor with the weird name: Geoffrey Boyle (It sounds Irish Catholic to me) standing there in a robe, boring all of those poor kids with a lecture. There were 530 people there, for pity’s sake. They could have at least had some liturgical dancers.

The article quotes a young girl saying that she’s studying organ at one of our Concordias. Why isn’t she majoring in political science or gender studies or something useful? How is she supposed to support herself with that? Are they brainwashing these kids? A teenage boy is quoted as saying, “a big thing about church services is the liturgy.” And there were apparently a lot of young people there, but no praise bands. Mercy me! President Harris needs to do something!!!

The article talks about the services: “Morning Prayer, Evening Prayer, Matins, Vespers, Corporate Confession and Absolution, and nightly Compline.” Give me a break! How many traditional church services can anyone stand? They probably had no craft time with popsickle sticks like we did when I was in high school. The article quotes a young man who grew up as a Southern Baptist but became a Luthern. Instead of singing the old timey church songs like The Old Rugged Cross and and In the Garden - you know, the real Luthern classics that would make him feel welcome, they are doing all of this new stuff that is so hard to sing. There is no way the youth want anything to do with that!

There is a picture of a District President dressed like a Catholic priest holding his hands up like my Pastor does (I keep writing the Elders about it). Someone needs to report this to President Harris and give him a piece of her mind. I remember when District Presidents wore suits and ties, and preached properly - like Billy Graham.

We need to start training our youth for real church work: praise bands and guitars and VBS songs like they sing in the Methodist churches (that are all growing). And if my husband doesn’t start doing something about this, I’m going to give him a piece of my mind and show him who wears the pants in this house!

Ms. Boomerton is a life-long Lutheran with concerns. She can be reached online in a number of Facebook groups.