Until recently, I viewed the LCMS as a large lifeboat. Indeed, our church body was one of the few where the church was confronted by a full-scale invasion of liberal ideology, faced it down, defeated it, and kicked it to the curb. This, of course, happened in the 1970s “Battle for the Bible” and the Seminex Walkout (whose members became a founding element of the ELCA). And while church body after church body fell away, it began to look like the LCMS would remain resolute, even to being the Last Man Standing.

And this impression is not just my personal bias. In the current (July/August 2023) “Touchstone,” S.M. Hutchens writes:

There are many that have resisted the forces that have established the kind of anti-male ethos that destroys young men, and here, I will, in accordance with my own impressions, dare to be helpful and name some names, something I would not do if I were politer and more circumspect qualities I tend to lose when lives are at stake. Young men have a good chance of being built up as men in the Lutheran Church - Missouri and Wisconsin Synods, but destroyed in the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America.

But, of course, the liberal tumor of Seminex wasn’t completely removed from the LCMS body. We all know liberals who did not “walk out” - even though they should have - but remained in our synod. So, though greatly weakened, the cancer was not completely eradicated. Fortunately, most of them are, shall we say, past the age of being able to do much damage any more. But the rise of popular Wokeism is threatening to take us back out of remission. It has been a scourge to our Concordia University system, with closures of Woke institutions, with attacking the whistleblower, and with a full-throated Texas rebellion by those who see things quite differently than the those holding the traditional LCMS worldview.

So, back to the nautical metaphor. In these rough waters, I have had to rethink the “LCMS as big lifeboat” illustration.

I meet a lot of people outside of the church. In many cases, my wife and I are the only Lutherans - and sometimes the only Christians - that some of our friends know, or in some cases, have ever even met. And the fact that I often wear a clerical collar when I am out and about in the community, or in the study of topics that interest us, is a form of outreach. Sometimes, I meet Christians who are disgusted by the liberalism of their own churches, and are looking for a place to land: where the clergy and members actually believe the Bible. Well, in spite of the usual nonsense of having to locate the subset of liturgical parishes before recommending a local congregation, I could, in the past, be reasonably certain that I could at least direct an inquirer to the LCMS church with at least a liturgical service and passable preaching.

But of late, it is getting more difficult to make a case for the LCMS. It seems like we cannot break our connections to the ELCA - a modern-day Luciferian death cult partially founded by the radicals who tried to take over our institutions during the days of the Walkout. The ELCA is the clown show of not just women’s “ordination,” but also goddess worship, grooming drag queens, a vagina statue made from melted down purity rings, abortion, justified deviant sexuality, accusations of Jesus being a pervert, lesbian angels doctrine, the confession of BDSM in the Trinity, preaching that the “great commission” is evil, drag “nuns,” and a pagan priest at a lesbian “ordination,” and the drama of a lady “bishop” pitted against a former lady “bishop,” who claims to be non-binary, removed for alleged racism.

What’s not to love?

And this is what the world sees and hears nearly every time they hear the word “Lutheran.” And amazingly, and inexplicably, in spite of all of this, in a real-life meme from the ELCA-friendly Brokeback Mountain movie, we just can’t seem to quit the ELCA.

Our controverted new edition of the Large Catechism includes ELCA pastors engaging in teaching our own clergy and laity. Thanks a lot, guys. And if that weren’t enough, this volume was followed up by a volume called Lutheran Preaching? (no, I did not add the question mark) featuring more of those who are “not our kind of Lutheran” instructing us on how to preach. I cannot speculate on the motivation of our academicians and leadership, but whatever it is, their stubborn inclusion of the ELCA is not helpful. For we - out in the real world - are constantly trying to differentiate and distance ourselves from the you-know-what show of the ELCgAy. And yes, these books including ELCA authors are inexplicably the product of the conservative wing of our conservative church body. And they are not above spiking the football over it. It makes one wonder what they are conserving. But most importantly, they got their all-important ELCA authors included. Hooray.

Thanks again, guys!

I also recently learned about an LCMS Recognized Service Organization that has been promoting homosexual “pride” for a couple years - and that this is an organization also simultaneously recognized and staffed by the ELCA. Well, that’s not weird at all. Why we still have these kinds of entanglements is anyone’s guess. Anyone? Class? Bueller?

Another example of the incompatibility of even non-theological association between the LCMS and the ELCA: in a one-eighty from their 2014 “neutrality policy,” the putatively Lutheran Thrivent also went Full Sodom this year for the merry, merry month of June. And in fact, they were celebrating “pride” a couple years ago. Yeah, and then there is the existence of Valpo’s clergy and chapel situation, a weird marriage between the LCMS and the ELCA doesn’t help distinguish us a whole lot either.

Not long after LCMS, Inc. was taking its victory lap over sticking it to those who really don’t want ELCA pastors teaching us, the video of the Sparkle Creed came out. And it went viral. Great. I had numerous friends share it with me - thinking that this was either an LCMS parish, or not understanding that these are not our kind of Lutheran.

So, yeah, thanks again, guys, for insisting on ELCA authors in LCMS books. It’s very helpful. Good job.

On top of all this, I was in a funk a few days ago when I learned about an LCMS pastor and former professor and district president participating not only in an ELCA service, but reading scripture and laying hands on his own daughter to “ordain” her and two other priestesses - taking part with priestesses in the liturgy (and, unless I am mistaken in watching the video, taking the alleged sacramental elements from two priestesses). Can this obliviousness get any worse?

The continued intercourse between the LCMS and the ELCA is like a cross between a Stephen King novel, a Greek tragedy, and an R-rated B-movie from the 1980s. Why does this keep happening?

This pastor’s participation in this service was not a spontaneous act. It was premeditated. He was vested and showed up with a planned reading. Nor did he seek permission from his ecclesiastical supervisor before doing so - as was the obviously-effective compromise put into effect after the Yankee Stadium you-know-what-show. He just did it, said “sorry” afterward, and his ecclesiastical supervisor quickly put the matter to rest - with no discipline at all. But I’m sure the hierarchy will be shocked, shocked that the reaction by ordinary members of synod is cynicism and a lack of confidence.

As I mentioned in my piece about how we supposedly give liturgy a bad name (which also chronicles more of the horror show of joint LCMS-ELCA ecclesiastical promiscuity), I’m not mentioning any names or sharing the public letters from those involved, nor the video that is online. I’m not the one in charge. It has been “handled” by the proper authorities. The specifics don’t really matter anyway. Nothing is going to happen to anyone: neither the hand-layer nor the under-the-rug-sweeper. Nothing. Nothing to see here, except institutional paralysis. The matter has been tucked in, read a bedtime story, sung a lullaby, and is now at rest beneath night’s shadow. But I admit, it made my stomach turn for a couple days. But when there’s a war on, we don’t have the luxury to be grossed out by disgusting sights and sounds, and we have a job to do. So we mourn briefly, and then get back to the business at hand. All I can say is that it’s a good thing that you can’t be sold by your “brothers” to Midianite traders any more. Well there is that. Not turning family members into idols is why our Lord used shockingly hyperbolic language to warn us about it.

The sad news is that instead of seeing the Good Ship Missouri as a life-saving vessel, one that Hutchens avers has “resisted the forces,” it now looks more like a certain tragic historical ship that was deemed “unsinkable” - until it sank. The Titanic was not equipped with enough lifeboats - precisely because it was “unsinkable.” The USS Lutheran Church - Missouri Synod appears to be rudderless and dead in the water, garlanded with symbols of past victories, even as mutineers and pirates are wending their way through the decks. But I do believe in miracles. It is possible that someone wearing epaulettes will somehow wrest control back. But as of now, it’s not looking good. In fact, one has to wonder if the officers even know anything bad is happening. Maybe they’re enjoying the orchestra’s rendition of “Nearer My God to Thee” (which apparently didn’t happen in real life).

So the real lifeboats are, in my view, not the synod, but rather the parishes. There are also a few districts and individual agencies of synod that are also lifeboats. But the majority of the lifeboats are congregations. And the parish pastors are lifeboat captains. Their job is not to save the entire LCMS Titanic, but just to man their own small vessels: to keep those onboard alive, to drag in survivors and rescue them where possible, to stay a safe distance away from being sunk by the undertow, but also to be able to row back in the case of a miracle.

That’s where I am today in this metaphoric ocean.

It is better to save lives shivering on the open seas in a little lifeboat than to be drinking port in a ballroom while the ship is taking on water.

As I was preparing to write this piece, my wife - reading a book called The Day-spring from on High by a friend of ours, the Rt. Rev. Paul Hewett of the Anglican Catholic Church - brought me this quote: an observation by Bishop Hewett (who has family ties and other connections to the Lutheran churches in Scandinavia) that struck a familiar note:

There was a candid admission that the old State church [the Lutheran Church of Sweden] is a Titanic that has hit the iceberg, and that the lifeboats must be put out.”

It is my belief that as we now stand, our congregations are such lifeboats.

We cannot put our trust in the princes of synod - regardless of which party or faction is in control. If the Good Ship Missouri somehow rights itself, and by the grace and undeserved mercy of God, the rudder re-engages, if the mutineers and the pirates are all thrown overboard by a renewed sense of manly virtue and bold action - wonderful. We will sing the Te Deum and rejoice. If we finally develop the will and the courage to distance ourselves completely and unambiguously from the ELCA, outstanding. It should have happened long ago. But if the ship capsizes and lumbers its way to the bottom of the sea, dragged down by the ballast of liberalism, we in the lifeboats must avoid the wake, take on as many refugees as we can, row to safety, and then look for other survivors. We may find ourselves in a similar position to the 19th century Old Lutherans who scouted about the country in search of survivors of the wreck of the Prussian Union.

Whatever happens, man the lifeboats!