Well, it’s happened yet again. I have heard about yet another faithful pastor who was run out of his congregation for unscriptural reasons. They aren’t even trying to allege that it was for false doctrine, an immoral life, or refusal to work. This time, they are pushing a narrative that there was some irregularity with his call document (which they issued) as a pretense. It seems that the District President became involved, and his response was to negotiate a six-month severance package for the wronged pastor.

So stunning. So brave. Rinse. Repeat.

The Call Paper Gambit is a new twist to an old story - but it is not unique.

So let me tell you a story:

***

Once upon a time, a pastor had an antagonist. She went on a grievance-colleting mission because she wanted to try to get the pastor removed. She started spreading a rumor that the pastor’s call paperwork was not in order, and thus he wasn’t the “real pastor.” A few years before, the senior pastor had left, and the associate pastor became the congregation’s sole pastor. The associate pastor had a call document from before, but did not have a new call document issued to him by the congregation. They never convened a call committee or issued a new call. Therefore, the parishioner was questioning the legitimacy of the pastor’s call.

A lady in the neighborhood, not a member, was even so bold as to ask the pastor if he were ever ordained. She said that a lady in the congregation said that he wasn’t.

The pastor went to the district office, located the paperwork (which was, in fact, in order and signed by the District President, as well as being signed by the husband of the lady on the crusade). In such cases, neither a new call committee, nor a new call, is needed. In order to make it clear that his call was legitimate, the pastor read the letter verbatim - including the signatures - to the congregation the following Sunday.

Hilarity ensued.

Eventually, the antagonist and her family left. And there was peace and harmony in the congregation, and they lived happily ever after.

***

Now this story is true. I know, because the pastor in this true story is me.

Questioning the pastor’s credentials is an old tack. St. Paul was treated to the same technique by some of his own antags (see 2 Corinthians).

But now, let me tell you another story.

***

Once upon a time, a pastor was being removed wrongfully by his congregation. The DP stepped in and met with the pastor and the congregational leaders. After hearing the litany of complaints about the pastor, he explained to the congregation the Big Three, that is, the three scriptural reasons to remove a pastor: 1) False doctrine, 2) Leading a manifestly immoral life, 3) Being unable or unwilling to carry out his duties as a pastor.

Their complaints were things like his communion practice was too closed, he instituted every Sunday communion, his preaching wasn’t “dynamic,” he would not allow hymns that are not in the hymnal, he stopped children’s sermons, and would not consider adding a contemporary service to reach out to the youth, etc. One person claimed that he didn’t visit an elderly relative in the hospital, while admitting that nobody told the pastor that the person had been hospitalized. There were complaints about chanting (even though it’s right out of the hymnal) and some people compared him unfavorably to the last pastor.

The congregational leaders begrudgingly admitted that the pastor did not violate the Big Three, but they offered to give him a severance package while they called the retired pastor who had recently moved into the area, who would take a much smaller salary, and who was “a better fit” for the congregation.”

The DP was aware that in the past, a prior DP negotiated a six-month severance package with one of this same congregation’s earlier pastors, patted himself on the back to the district office and the Council of Presidents, and then proceeded to get them another pastor right out of seminary - who also crashed and burned and left the ministry as a result.

The DP shocked the congregation by saying this:

“Dear brothers and sisters in Christ, your pastor has not violated the Big Three. Removing him would be unscriptural, meaning sinful. And if I played along, I would be condoning, and taking part in your sin. For the Lord will hold me accountable. You have been allowed to do this in the past, but those days are over. So listen very carefully: If you remove this pastor, you will be removed from synod. The day that you change the locks on the door, or stop paying him - or even decrease his salary or mistreat him in any way - is the day that you’re out of synod. You will not get another pastor. You will no longer have access to our benefit packages, and your Church Extension Fund loan will be due. Now be Christians, apologize, submit to your pastor, and put this behind you. Start focusing on Jesus instead of this nonsense. Repent.”

The congregation did as they were admonished. In time, the pastor and people grew to love one another. Congregations in this district stopped abusing their pastors because they knew that the District President wouldn’t put up with it. And everyone lived happily ever after.

***

No, this did not happen to me. In fact, this story is fiction.

THE END